The Canucks fan base, hours after winning the President's Trophy
Another regular season has passed, and despite the valiant effort, the Leafs will, yet again, not be making the playoffs. While, for many Leaf fans, there is much hope and optimism for next season, in the short term, this gives us nobody to root for this spring.
So if you're concerned about who you, Joe Leaf Fan, ought to cheer for, worry no more! I'm here to help, with reasons for and against rooting for the more potentially competitive teams this spring, as well as a handy dandy guide of predictions to help you hedge your bets. Good luck, and happy bandwagoning!
WESTERN CONFERENCE:
VANCOUVER CANUCKS:
Why You Should Cheer For Them: Nothing says being a true Canadian hockey fan like cheering for a bunch of Canada-based Swedes to win the Cup.
Why You Should Cheer For Them: Nothing says being a true Canadian hockey fan like cheering for a bunch of Canada-based Swedes to win the Cup.
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: Should they fail to win the Cup, an indignant Vancouver media will likely accuse you of 'tampering'.
Playoff Prediction: In the event they do win the Cup, they'll be too busy telling you the Leafs suck to actually notice.
DETROIT RED WINGS:
Why You Should Cheer For Them: As a Leaf fan, you're probably used to disappointment, sadness and mismanagement. Might as well spend two months cheering for the opposite of that....you know, just so you know how it feels.
Why You Should Cheer For Them: As a Leaf fan, you're probably used to disappointment, sadness and mismanagement. Might as well spend two months cheering for the opposite of that....you know, just so you know how it feels.
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: You know those teams in the Disney movies the underdog always plays that are the perennial powerhouses, and everyone kinda hates them? Yeah, that's the Red Wings. If you cheer for them, you might as well just cheer for Iceland in Mighty Ducks 2.
Playoff Prediction: If they don't win this year, will cryogenically freeze Mike Modano in the offseason to ensure he has one last chance to win a Cup.
SAN JOSE SHARKS
Why You Should Cheer For Them: You want them to do well because you picked a lot of them in your playoff hockey pool.
Why You Should Cheer For Them: You want them to do well because you picked a lot of them in your playoff hockey pool.
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: You want them to fail as retribution for the last 4 or so years you picked a lot of them in your playoff hockey pool.
Playoff Prediction: Will see progress this postseason, in that Dan Boyle will actually attempt to score on the other team's net.
PHOENIX COYOTES
Why You Should Cheer For Them: All the cool Canadians are gonna be cheering for them next year when they're the Winnipeg Jets. Might as well be a trendsetter and start now.
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: If they win, there's a 95% chance Paul Bissonnette will tweet that he's twooping in the Stanley Cup. Do you *really* want that?
Playoff Prediction: You'll likely forget that Lee Stempniak still plays for the Coyotes, even when he's on the ice.
LOS ANGELES KINGS
Why You Should Cheer For Them: Supporting the Kings shows gratitude for them being such good sports and not calling the police about that incident involving Burke, Brayden Schenn, chloroform, a duffel bag, and a private plane to Toronto.
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: I see you're new around here! Go read '1992-93 Stanley Cup Playoffs' on Wikipedia, then we'll chat.
Playoff Prediction: Will be the best Southern California team not named after an animal that old people feed breadcrumbs to.
NASHVILLE PREDATORS
Why You Should Cheer For Them: It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: By a general rule of thumb, if you can't name more than three players on a team, supporting them just looks kinda douchey.
Playoff Prediction: If they win it all, it's almost certain Mike Fisher will be preserved in immortality on the Cup as "Mr. Carrie Underwood."
EASTERN CONFERENCE:
WASHINGTON CAPITALS
Why You Should Cheer For Them: The fact none of their actual fans knew the team existed before 2008 will make you feel less guilty for jumping on the bandwagon now.
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: Bruce Boudreau's foul mouth would make the pious James Reimer sad. You don't want that, do you?
Playoff Prediction: Based on past precedent, either: (a) Embarrassingly lose in first round, or; (b) Have NHL conspire to get them through first round so they can play Pittsburgh.....then, embarrassingly lose in second round.
PHILADELPHIA FLYERS
Why You Should Cheer For Them: Despite what we've been seeing for the last five years, apparently some teams *can* succeed with terrible goaltending. Who knew?
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: Aligning yourself with the fans who have been voted 'Most Likely to Boo a 5 Year Old Leukemia Patient Holding a Puppy' three years in a row never looks good.
Playoff Prediction: If they lose, that icky brown stuff with curse words etched in it on the back of Kris Versteeg's Audi isn't dirt.
BOSTON BRUINS
Why You Should Cheer For Them: Rumour has it if you don't, there's a good chance you'll wind up on Colin Campbell's 'Enemies List.'
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: Cheering requires passion, which is difficult when your team is about as interesting as a watching a glacier move.
Playoff Prediction: Zdeno Chara defeats the stanchion in 6 games.
PITTSBURGH PENGUINS
Why You Should Cheer For Them: Everyone else is doing it! C'mon, man; peer pressure is cool!
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: Due to stricter NHL regulations inspired by Mario Lemieux's incessant complaining, you may be held criminally liable for anything Matt Cooke does on the ice, should they get past the first round.
Playoff Prediction: The longer Sidney Crosby is out, the probability NBC pre-empts their games for the World Series of Dog Poker increases from 95% to 99%.
TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
Why You Should Cheer For Them: They'll be adopting blue and white uniforms next season. That's *kinda* like cheering for the Leafs, right? Right?
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: Does Steve Yzerman *really* need another Cup? I hear you just kinda get bored of it after the third or fourth one.
Playoff Prediction: Will capture the undivided attention of Tampa natives on the two days a week the Rays aren't playing.
TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS
Why You Should Cheer For Them: It's been a while since you cheered them on in the playoffs. Might as well get the practice in now so you're not rusty for next postseason.
Why You Shouldn't Cheer For Them: There's a good chance that a lot of hipsters will do this just to be ironic.
Playoff Prediction: Phil Kessel will shoot an 81 in late April despite being held up on every hole by a rather inconsiderate foursome of Habs that won't let him play through.
I'm cheering for the Bruins to make the finals so the Leafs can cash in on that second round pick. Then it will be that much sweeter too when they have their hearts ripped out in the finals.
ReplyDeleteI'm cheering for the writer of this blog to choke to death on his own vomit
ReplyDeleteu forgot the main one for us leafs fans!
ReplyDeleteMontreal?!